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Let’s face it, we all have people we want to persuade, don’t we? NLP gives you the ability of persuading others to say yes

So, today’s bite size NLP is a great skill to know whether you’re in business, sales or simply have someone in mind that you want to persuade to do something that is good for them, you, or the both of you.

I wonder if you, like me, have something that you want on occasions, but you don’t necessarily want to do yourself. Would it be great to have a great strategy to get others to support?

Now, every sale’s person knows that at the end of the day you want your prospect to say, “Yes” and buy your product. And, when you come to think of it now, that’s the same response we’re seeking whenever you request an item or action from someone else. This strategy works as well in sales as it does if you want your partner to make a cup of tea on your children to tidy their room.

Your key to success is to get their agreement, right?

And you do that by seeking the answer, persuading others to say yes, don’t you?

And it stands to reason that the more they say yes, the more they’ll keep saying yes and ,the more they’ll act at that important moment when you want a prospect to sign a contract, a child to tidy their room, or a partner to make the tea.

Tag questions are the magic key to creating “Yes” sets. A series of questions that elicit agreement and get your audience on board with where you want them to go.

The chances are that as you’ve read this article, you’ve nodded and agreed throughout. So, you’re already realising the how a well-designed tag question will get you the response you want.

In this example, I’ve chosen a simple request, as many people welcome a cup of tea, don’t they?

So, the next time you want a cuppa, my invitation is to experiment with the power of tag questions and persuading others to say yes. You may say something like:

“It’s thirsty work, isn’t it?” (yes)

“It’s about time for a break, isn’t it?” (Yes)

“And your tea’s the best, isn’t it?” (Yes)

Can you put the kettle on? (Yes) And, after this special type of question [Conversational Postulate], they most probably will.

Tag questions are part of the Milton Model and just one of the powerful language patterns you learn when you choose to learn NLP.

Conversational Postulate Questions – Words, Questions & Actions

This week I’m super excited to share one of Milton Erikson’s ingenious language patterns.

I wonder if you, like me, are ever faced with resistance when making a simple request or enquiry? You know the sort of thing, I’m sure:

• Parent: Tidy your room! [Young person says no or simply ignores]
• Parent: Have you done your homework yet? [Answer is often “No” and there’s no action]
• Partner: Make the coffee [Sounds quite harsh and gets the partner’s back up]
• Sales: What are you looking for? [Sounds presumptuous and interrogating]

With a conversational postulate, you can initiate the response you seek without upsetting your audience. And this language pattern is one of numerous persuasion techniques when you choose to learn NLP.

The following phrases sound less bossy, presumptuous, and interrogating, do they not?

• Parent: Can you tidy your room?
• Parent: Can you get on with your homework?
• Partner: I wonder if you can put the kettle on.
• Sales: Can you tell me what’s important to you when you’re buying a car? House? Outfit?

Not doubt you’ve noticed that the questions above all elicit a “Yes” or “No” answer, and here’s the magic…

Most often, they cue the action just like the age-old question: Have you got the time? Some people will joke and say, “no” but the greatest majority will give you the answer that you’re looking for.

Top tip: If you weave a number of conversational postulates into your discussion, you’ll be even more effective in achieving the results you want.

My invitation to you is to experiment and let me know how well it goes.

And, I wonder if you know anyone else who is curious about NLP? Can you think of a friend or colleague who loves to use words for effect? And does that person enjoy persuading others in learning, sales, or something else? Do you think they’d love you to share this blog?

I wonder if you talk to yourself.

And, whether that internal voice is apt to grind you down?

Wouldn’t it be great to reprogram your mind to be kind to yourself instead and stop self-sabotage?

Not least because we’re chemical beings and every time we mutter unkind thought our adrenal glands fire off a dose of Cortisol. This stress chemical works well if we need to escape a threat, but too much Cortisol building up in your body causes stress and burnout in the longer term.

That’s why I’m super excited to share the NLP Auditory Swish. This great and simple mind hack works quickly stop self-sabotage patterns, so that you can be kind to yourself, instead. How much better does that sound?

1. Recall something you say to yourself that used to grind you down. It may be a put down like, “I’m stupid. I’ve never been any good at that,” or something similar. Notice the tone and the speed to utterance.
2. Repeat the phrase. This time, slow your voice right down and adjust the tone. Notice, the more you reduce the intensity of your voice, the more the meaning changes and the associated feeling just seems to fade. How much nicer is that?
3. If needed, use your creativity to scramble the message in any way that works for you. For example, “I’m s…t…u…d…i…p…s…” [wrong order] Or my favourite, swop the words around to create a positive, “Never stupid, I’ve always been good at that!”
4. Change the phrase. Tell yourself what you want to think instead. Be kind and give the meaning a positive spin. For example, “I’m work in progress and the more I’m practising, the better I get.”
5. Now, play with the tone and rhythm. The more upbeat, the better!
6. Future pace: See yourself at a time in the future when in the past your internal voice used to sound different and notice what’s changed.
7. Now, TRY to bring back the old voice and notice what’s happened instead

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here

This week I’m super excited to share the process to learning your love language – a great NLP strategy for a super special Valentine.

Do you love to celebrate?
And surprise a special person suitably?
But, wonder how you can get that gesture absolute right?

If you, like me, have ever received a gift and wondered what the other person was thinking, you’ll know how disappointing it can be when someone else doesn’t know you quite as well as you thought.

John La Valle, president of the society of NLP, tells a story about a wife who questions,

“Do you love me?”
Her partner says, “Of course I love you. I show you, don’t I?
I buy you flowers (visual),
I buy you perfume (olfactory),
I show you all the time.”

Unfortunately, the wife’s preferred representation is auditory, so her response is…

“Yes, but you never tell me that you love me!” (Auditory)

So, my invitation to you this week is learning your love language and listen in order to hear your partner’s preferred representation system.

NLP Representation Systems and how to recognise them is yet another skill that we teach, when you choose to learn NLP.

And the good news is that NLP Rep Systems are also your golden key in teaching, persuasion, and sales, to name but a few!

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here