NLP to Plan for the Road Ahead

This week, I’m writing to you from Glastonbury where I’m enjoying a Business Alchemy Retreat.

I wonder if you’ve ever taken time out of your busy schedule.

Imagine the difference you can make when you take quality time to plan ahead.

You don’t have to work with an NLP coach or go on an NLP based retreat to ensure the quality time but it can make the world of difference simply to change the environment when you want to review your goals and plan the necessary steps to achieve them. 

Needless to say, while I’m in Glastonbury and the washing, emails and any other distractions are beyond reach and I have the time and support to revision and plan ahead yet again, it’s time well spent for me and my business, and ultimately my special people [that I love to bits] that I’ve left at home, for now…

I wonder if you, like me, have a picture of where you want to go. Maybe it’s in your minds eye, or maybe you’ve put together a vision board that works for you. 

Vision boards are great if you know the actions that you’re going to take to achieve your dream but lots of people who create a vision board fail because they’ve missed the all-important step of planning the actions they will take to get there. 

Once you’ve decided on a great thinking space, NLP Timelines are great for planning the way forward.

My favourite thinking spaces [when I’m not on a Business Alchemy Retreat] include my beach hut, a nice coffee shop or a local library [of which there are plenty to choose from]. 

Once I’m set up in a space where I can revision and plan ahead, I simply draw a line from now to my end goal. I then track back and fill in all the things that need to happen to get there. In the old days, my plan used to stop there but not now…

Now I know the benefit of trance, I close my eyes and go inside and train brain on a weekly and sometimes daily basis to get to the next milestone. 

Trance [also known as visualisation] isn’t rocket science, but it does make the world of difference. 

My invitation for you this week is to think of a personal and /or professional goal that you know is achievable when you put your mind to it. Draw a line from now to the moment when you reach your goal, fill in the actions that need to happen and add a date for each action to ensure you pace yourself to reach success. 

I’d love to hear your success and if I can be of help, do not hesitate to get in touch. 

If your wondering, I did plan to climb [or rather walk] to the Glastonbury Tor. Simply, being here wasn’t enough to get me there and putting the picture on a vision board is pleasing but still not enough. For me, the opportunity to see the sunrise from this beautiful landmark was a great motivator and my internal alarm clock and legs did all the rest!

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here.

NLP for Erasing Writer’s Block!

It is Sunday and I’m a little late writing this post for publication [a week late if we’re being honest], not because I haven’t had time and not because I can’t turn the pressure on, but simply because I have yet to find my muse.

So, I’ve decided to sit down and start typing and see where my musings take me, as my mind wonders and wanders to find the right inspiration to inspire my audience today.

Research shows that writer’s block is caused by stress; those intense emotions that stop you having the freedom to allow your thoughts to flow easily.

A good few years ago, I sat down to write a picture book. After a couple hours, I had an idea for a character but no idea of a story that would entertain young children and have them joining in like the Gruffalo or Burglar Bill, to mention just two of the greats.

The more I sat looking at the page [visual], the more my mind went around in circles and the more I told myself [negative suggestion] it wasn’t working!

And, I was right, my strategy was NOT working.

Yet, when I closed my eyes and went inside [visual internal] with the intention that the ideas will flow [positive suggestion], they did…

Before long, Amber Lamborghini on her three wheeled bike was off on an amazing adventure…

The more I spent time in trance, entranced with my character [a young lady with down syndrome] and how she interacted with her world to make it work for her, the more the ideas flowed so that when I opened my eyes and started writing in waking time it was easy…

I had done the composition and now all I had to do was to write it down! That’s why I love NLP and the POWER OF SUGGESTION and that’s why I take time every Sunday to share these great skills with you.

NLP Strategy Elicitation is just one of the great skills you learn when you decide to learn NLP. When you know how a negative strategy works, you can mess it up and install the one that works instead. Like anything else in life, it’s easy when you know how!

My invitation to you this week, is to begin to notice the strategies that work well for you. Listen to your own internal voice and notice how you speak to yourself when things are going well, as opposed to when they don’t.

As for my muse this week, I’m happy to say I’ve found it now and avoided that old habit of writer’s block by suggesting to myself to sit down and start typing and my unconscious would do all this rest!

Rest awhile and enjoy your Sunday and enjoy your “shine” in the week ahead.

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here

Calming Cravings when the Easter Bunny has Gone!

Spring has sprung and feels like people have more of a spring in their step. 

I wonder if you, like me, are inspired to get ready for the new season.

Today’s sunshine inspired me to enjoy my first garden of the season. Having decided that spring cleaning can wait, I was listening to Dr Richard Bandler on NLP Eternal who was talking about feeling good for no reason. A good idea, when you come to think about it.

That said, the Easter bunny has been so I’m anticipating feeling good for a great reason. It’s Butler’s 70% dark chocolate for me and not only is it made in the Emerald Isle, it’s full of the good stuff – Iron, Magnesium, and antioxidants, to name but a few! It can also lower blood pressure and may even improve blood flow, so why not tuck in…

As they say, a bit of what you fancy does you good! As you know, the issues arise when you don’t know how to stop. So, you may be intrigued to know that if you, like me, want to get back on track with healthy eating after Easter, NLP Practitioner students get to learn a wealth of skills for calming cravings and feeling good. Reversing the spin is just one technique that you’ll learn as and when you decide to come and learn with us. 

So, if next week, you start to get hoodwinked by the sugar monster having devoured an Easter Egg or more, this easy to learn technique for calming cravings is for you.

  1. When you notice the craving, close you eye, tune in and notice where the feeling starts and the direction it moves. By connecting the end to the beginning you’ll notice your feeling moving in a circle. 
  2. Use the power of your mind to speed it up and you’ll notice it getting worse! The good news is that if you can intensify the feeling, you can also turn it down.
  3. Notice the colour and speed of the spin.
  4. Now, use the power of your mind to slow the spin.
  5. Change the colour to a colour that represents calm to you and notice how the craving you has simply dissolves.

Top tip: Some people like to imagine physically pull the old spin out of their body before they change the speed, direction, and colour of the spin. You can even use your hands to move the energy in reverse, like mixing a new recipe. Do what works for you and if you’ve moved the energy out, remember to put it back!

If you’ve never tried Butler’s 70% chocolate, I can highly recommend it! 

My invitation for you this week is to take a leaf out of Dr Bandler’s book and feel good for no reason or notice the little things that make you smile…

And enjoy noticing that Spring has sprung!

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here

Here’s to shining bright in the week ahead.

Negative thoughts and Unwanted Feelings? Step Back and Change the Lens!

 Wonder if you remember a negative thoughts and unwanted feelings come tumbling back.

Or you’re feeling anxious about an event that’s coming up soon.

Maybe you get stuck in a loop and can’t stop thinking about it.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a quick and easy strategy to get rid of those negative thoughts and unwanted feelings?

Here’s how…

When you remember that past experience or think about the one that’s coming up, what do you notice?

  • A picture or a mind movie? [There usually is. If it’s a movie, freeze it!]
  • Voices or a sound? [Notice how you can use your mind to turn the sound down]
  • Associated feelings/sensations

The fact that it’s an experience where the feelings come tumbling back suggests that you’re fully associated. That is to say that you are back in the moment and seeing what’s happening through your own eyes. If you can see yourself in the picture you’re dissociated, which can make the feelings less intense.

When we dissociate, it’s like taking a step back. You put some distance between you and that event that was causing those unwanted sensations. The further you push the picture away from your mind, the better you can feel. And, when you see the world through a different lens, you can let those feelings go.

On NLP Eternal, you’ll find a great trance from Dr Richard Bandler that teaches you to step through anxiety by seeing the world through a different lens. You literally put the unwanted picture far away in the distance and put pictures of great thoughts or memories between you and that picture you want to see differently; a bit like putting a photo of an unwanted memory/thought behind all of your favourite ones.

My invitation to you this week, is to notice when else and where else you can use it. It’s great for headaches, you can literally send the unwanted sensation to the person in the mirror.

If you’re at the dentist, you can float your mind to where you want to be instead. Barbados is my preferred option!

If you’re looking from another viewpoint, change the colours to black and white and notice how much better that feel.

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here

Here’s to shining bright in the week ahead…

Powerful Language Patterns for Persuasion

This week, I thought I’d share a story with some powerful language patterns for persuasion that came in super useful during my travels.

Has anyone ever told you, “No”, when you wanted the answer to be, “Yes”? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have great skills to persuade them otherwise?

As a Dubliner, I adore celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in the Sunshine State, not least because the Americans love their Irish roots and know well how to celebrate with the best of them. So, when we found some emerald rhinestone baseball caps, we were super excited by the USA/Irish fusion not to mention how great they’d look with our Bandler baseball jackets. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be…

…because the emerald rhinestones kept popping off the hats, rendering them unwearable. Needless to say, I had to take them back! And that’s when the NLP Persuasive Language Patterns really came into play…

The shop manager was adamant there would be, “No refund”!

I asked her to, “Please, try to help me to understand why.” [Suggestion: She’ll fail. She’s only trying!]

The shop manager explained:

“The Returns Policy won’t let me [deletion/negative command]. You don’t have a receipt [mind read]; the tags are off [true] and the hats are covered in glue where you’ve tried to repair them [true again].”

My response:

“Who says the policy won’t let you? How won’t it let you? [Lack of Referential Index/NLP Meta Model]

Before I could finish what, I was saying, the store manager phoned her regional manager who confirmed, “NO REFUND!”

My response, said with a curiously assertive tone:

“You do give receipts, don’t you?
And this is the receipt I was given, isn’t it?
So, I do have a receipt, don’t I? [3xTag Question/Yes Set]

And I’m wondering on what grounds [artfully vague] the policy supports you to take responsibility [embedded command] for the faulty goods [presupposition].

I’m happy for you exchange the goods [embedded command] or you can give me a credit note or refund my card [embedded commands and a double bind].

As manager, you are authorised to do that, aren’t you? [Tag question]

Store manager response:

She nodded and said, “I can’t possibly give you a credit note. Please let me refund your card.”

My response, “Thank you…”

Not least to my own NLP mentors, Dr Richard Bandler and John La Valle who teach their sales model known as “Persuasion Engineering” superbly well.

NLP Powers of Persuasion originate in the Milton Model, a wonderful set of hypnotic language patterns that you can learn easily as and when you decide to become a Licensed Practitioner of NLP. The are super useful in sales, in the classroom, at home or even when flirting (as Dr Bandler would say)!

So, was it the Luck of the Irish or NLP Powers of Persuasion that enabled my success in securing a fair outcome when returning the faulty goods? As a romantic Dubliner, there’s a part of me that wants to believe it’s both and that would be “Blarney”, as the Irish say 😊.

As you can see from the photo, we ditched the rhinestone baseball caps and sang, “I’m a rhinestone [St. Paddy’s Day] cowboy, instead 😉.

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here

Here’s to shining bright in the week ahead.

Mindset Matters – NLP Strategies for Shining Bright!

Would you like to find NLP strategies that help you focus on YOUR most valuable asset…

Your MIND (but sadly NOT in everyone’s case)!

Maybe, you already know that success in sport is about 20% skill and mindset is all the rest.

But, did you know that mindset is responsible for 80% success in learning and sales, as well as in life?

Well, that’s why NLP strategies have become the “go to” skillset for anyone wanting to live their best life yet and this week, I’m exciting to share one of the reasons why.

Knowing that mindset is the key is great, but that knowledge alone isn’t enough to open the door to success if a person has a limiting belief or behaviour that’s holding them back.

And here’s the thing…

Often times, people aren’t consciously aware of what’s holding them back. If they knew, the chances are they would do something about it, wouldn’t they?

NLP Strategy Elicitation is a great for two reasons.

Firstly, if we can elicit the part of a strategy that isn’t working, we can mess it up and install a strategy that works instead.

And secondly, if someone else has a successful strategy you can “try it on” and see if it works for you. So, what is a strategy?

Simply put, a strategy is a mental sequence or pattern to achieve a goal such public speaking.

An example of a successful strategy may be:

  • Visual External: Look at the audience and notice someone who is interested and smiling.
  • Kinaesthetic Internal: Feel good about that.
  • Auditory External/Kinaesthetic External: Reflect that good feeling in your voice and project it to the audience.

Whereas an unsuccessful strategy may be:

  • Auditory Internal: Say to oneself, “Everyone’s looking at me”.
  • Kinaesthetic Internal: Feel bad [embarrassed]
  • Auditory External/Kinaesthetic External: Reflect that bad/embarrassed feeling in your voice and project that on the audience.

Eliciting this quality of information is dependent on asking elegant questions, understanding, and using Eye Accessing Cues and tuning up your ears to hear sensory information. All great skills that you can develop, as and when you decide to learn NLP.

So, my invitation to you this week is to reflect on a behaviour you want to improve and notice the sequence. How do you know when to start it? And what happens next? And then? Repeat until you get to the end of the sequence, which is often times when you feel bad. You can then plan the changes you’ll make to secure the improvement.

Working with a skilled Licensed Practitioner of NLP is highly effective when you want to rewire your brain to eliminate an unsuccessful strategy and install something new, so please feel free to request a complimentary discovery call to know how I can help.

Persuading others to say YES!

Let’s face it, we all have people we want to persuade, don’t we? NLP gives you the ability of persuading others to say yes

So, today’s bite size NLP is a great skill to know whether you’re in business, sales or simply have someone in mind that you want to persuade to do something that is good for them, you, or the both of you.

I wonder if you, like me, have something that you want on occasions, but you don’t necessarily want to do yourself. Would it be great to have a great strategy to get others to support?

Now, every sale’s person knows that at the end of the day you want your prospect to say, “Yes” and buy your product. And, when you come to think of it now, that’s the same response we’re seeking whenever you request an item or action from someone else. This strategy works as well in sales as it does if you want your partner to make a cup of tea on your children to tidy their room.

Your key to success is to get their agreement, right?

And you do that by seeking the answer, persuading others to say yes, don’t you?

And it stands to reason that the more they say yes, the more they’ll keep saying yes and ,the more they’ll act at that important moment when you want a prospect to sign a contract, a child to tidy their room, or a partner to make the tea.

Tag questions are the magic key to creating “Yes” sets. A series of questions that elicit agreement and get your audience on board with where you want them to go.

The chances are that as you’ve read this article, you’ve nodded and agreed throughout. So, you’re already realising the how a well-designed tag question will get you the response you want.

In this example, I’ve chosen a simple request, as many people welcome a cup of tea, don’t they?

So, the next time you want a cuppa, my invitation is to experiment with the power of tag questions and persuading others to say yes. You may say something like:

“It’s thirsty work, isn’t it?” (yes)

“It’s about time for a break, isn’t it?” (Yes)

“And your tea’s the best, isn’t it?” (Yes)

Can you put the kettle on? (Yes) And, after this special type of question [Conversational Postulate], they most probably will.

Tag questions are part of the Milton Model and just one of the powerful language patterns you learn when you choose to learn NLP.

Conversational Postulate – NLP Questions to get the job done!

Conversational Postulate Questions – Words, Questions & Actions

This week I’m super excited to share one of Milton Erikson’s ingenious language patterns.

I wonder if you, like me, are ever faced with resistance when making a simple request or enquiry? You know the sort of thing, I’m sure:

  • Parent: Tidy your room! [Young person says no or simply ignores]
  • Parent: Have you done your homework yet? [Answer is often “No” and there’s no action]
  • Partner: Make the coffee [Sounds quite harsh and gets the partner’s back up]
  • Sales: What are you looking for? [Sounds presumptuous and interrogating]

With a conversational postulate, you can initiate the response you seek without upsetting your audience. And this language pattern is one of numerous persuasion techniques when you choose to learn NLP.

The following phrases sound less bossy, presumptuous, and interrogating, do they not?

  • Parent: Can you tidy your room?
  • Parent: Can you get on with your homework?
  • Partner: I wonder if you can put the kettle on.
  • Sales: Can you tell me what’s important to you when you’re buying a car? House? Outfit?

Not doubt you’ve noticed that the questions above all elicit a “Yes” or “No” answer, and here’s the magic…

Most often, they cue the action just like the age-old question: Have you got the time? Some people will joke and say, “no” but the greatest majority will give you the answer that you’re looking for.

Top tip: If you weave a number of conversational postulates into your discussion, you’ll be even more effective in achieving the results you want.

My invitation to you is to experiment and let me know how well it goes.

And, I wonder if you know anyone else who is curious about NLP? Can you think of a friend or colleague who loves to use words for effect? And does that person enjoy persuading others in learning, sales, or something else? Do you think they’d love you to share this blog?

Stop Self-Sabotage – Be Kind to Yourself for a Change!

I wonder if you talk to yourself.

And, whether that internal voice is apt to grind you down?

Wouldn’t it be great to reprogram your mind to be kind to yourself instead and stop self-sabotage?

Not least because we’re chemical beings and every time we mutter unkind thought our adrenal glands fire off a dose of Cortisol. This stress chemical works well if we need to escape a threat, but too much Cortisol building up in your body causes stress and burnout in the longer term.

That’s why I’m super excited to share the NLP Auditory Swish. This great and simple mind hack works quickly stop self-sabotage patterns, so that you can be kind to yourself, instead. How much better does that sound?

  1. Recall something you say to yourself that used to grind you down. It may be a put down like, “I’m stupid. I’ve never been any good at that,” or something similar. Notice the tone and the speed to utterance.
  2. Repeat the phrase. This time, slow your voice right down and adjust the tone. Notice, the more you reduce the intensity of your voice, the more the meaning changes and the associated feeling just seems to fade. How much nicer is that?
  3. If needed, use your creativity to scramble the message in any way that works for you. For example, “I’m s…t…u…d…i…p…s…” [wrong order] Or my favourite, swop the words around to create a positive, “Never stupid, I’ve always been good at that!”
  4. Change the phrase. Tell yourself what you want to think instead. Be kind and give the meaning a positive spin. For example, “I’m work in progress and the more I’m practising, the better I get.”
  5. Now, play with the tone and rhythm. The more upbeat, the better!
  6. Future pace: See yourself at a time in the future when in the past your internal voice used to sound different and notice what’s changed.
  7. Now, TRY to bring back the old voice and notice what’s happened instead

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here

Learning your love language – NLP strategy for a super special Valentine

This week I’m super excited to share the process to learning your love language – a great NLP strategy for a super special Valentine.

Do you love to celebrate?
And surprise a special person suitably?
But, wonder how you can get that gesture absolute right?

If you, like me, have ever received a gift and wondered what the other person was thinking, you’ll know how disappointing it can be when someone else doesn’t know you quite as well as you thought.

John La Valle, president of the society of NLP, tells a story about a wife who questions,

“Do you love me?”
Her partner says, “Of course I love you. I show you, don’t I?
I buy you flowers (visual),
I buy you perfume (olfactory),
I show you all the time.”

Unfortunately, the wife’s preferred representation is auditory, so her response is…

“Yes, but you never tell me that you love me!” (Auditory)

So, my invitation to you this week is learning your love language and listen in order to hear your partner’s preferred representation system.

NLP Representation Systems and how to recognise them is yet another skill that we teach, when you choose to learn NLP.

And the good news is that NLP Rep Systems are also your golden key in teaching, persuasion, and sales, to name but a few!

To join our next NLP Intro Day Workshop here in Bournemouth with Shine NLP By the Sea, click here